Busy bee

Since last writing on this blog I have given up my career as a Visual Manager full time and reduced my hours down to 12 hrs a week. Which is primarily based in office doing recruitment which I'm really enjoying and learning something new.

My partner has now decided to change occupations. His new job means he is ironically home based ( hopefully not too much) 

I had mixed emotions on this, I had given up 15 years to look after Layla-Rose because he worked abroad so much. But I'm sure everything happens for a reason.

We have just celebrated my daughters 3rd birthday back home in England which was lovely. I honestly feel so less stressed being away from the manic pressure at work and do feel I've become a better mother and partner. Our wee family is in a happy place at the moment, the only thing missing is a wee brother or sister for Layla-Rose ( which she does keep asking for) 

She desperately wants a wee playmate. She doesn't completely understand but she is aware that all my friends have either babies or babies in their tummies. Hopefully now feeling less stressed and tired Mother Nature might bless us one more time.

Awkward moments

Sunday morning and I'm wandering about in my pyjama bottoms. While talking to my little girl in the bathroom, she looks at my tummy and asks "Mummy where's you baby gone?" I honestly was so taken back I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her, she continued " Is baby not going round and round anymore?" I quickly but awkwardly responded with "No darling" 

It's been 3 months and she hasn't mentioned anything before! 

I do regret telling her so soon, when we got caught up in all the excitement of extending our little family. All my friends were pregnant or just had their second, it was the environment we were in. 

Once we lost the baby we hoped she would just forget or not remember. Until know I thought that was the case.  I realise now I under estimated a 2 year old. 

I wish I could give her a baby brother or sister. But it's just not happening. I'm using ovulation tests but my fertile phases are not coinsiding with my partner being in the country. Hopefully when I step down from my career, I won't be feeling so run down and stressed.